大海在我瞳孔里1
江 南
夏日，海滩。
蓝色的涛声在空中忽明忽暗地飘荡。几束海风缠住我的头发¬¬2，我扯下一条放在嘴里。哦，海水把空气都染咸了。地质学家说是江河里带来的盐份，也有些诗人说是渔民的汗水、穷人的眼泪……，可我说——我怎么说呢？海洋学家们正在为海水是在咸起来还是淡下去而争论不休。我说——本来嘛，大海！
一排大浪扑来，把我卷了进去3。
整个世界都在下沉、沉、沉……4。冰凉的海水紧贴着皮肤，从每个毛孔里吸收着热量.我不断地释放，海水不断地吸收。趋向平衡也许是一种本能，人与自然的斗争是笼罩着地球的主旋律,而人与人的斗争则是它的伴奏……
大海带着嘲讽的神情注视着我的眼睛—5
大海：你来干什么?
我：我来寻找……
大海：又是一个。哈哈，人们赞美我的深沉，却在我的浅薄里寻找安全。
我：我来寻找你血管里的铀、氘、氚，要让它从寂寞里挣脱出来。
大海：为了什么？
我：为了必然，为了不可避免，为了我是一个“人”。
大海：在我的爆发中6，你会被……
我：我将找到我自己7。
一个长长的深得没有底的吻，我透不过气来。大海疯狂地拥抱着我跳起来快步舞，一条条弧线在无限延伸……大海一松手，把我沿着切线抛上浪尖。一睁眼，阳光撞碎了浪，无数的三棱镜中，折射出色彩缤纷的人生……
视线卷曲向上升去——
夕阳，一个高血压患者8。
乌云，倒映在天幕上的怨气。
海鸥，寻找着归宿的音符。
苍穹，多少条正弦曲线的组合……
一连串朦胧的意象从海底浮起，刚刚冒出海面，就被水沫吞没了，一个、一个……一个也没剩下。
我走上沙滩，一步、一步，赤裸的脚狠劲地踩着，尽量把脚印留得大一点、深一点……。粘着唾沫的浪舌伸了上来，一下子舔得干干净净。错误的痕迹？……打字机的改正液？
快门“咔嚓”一声。凝固了——尴尬的笑容，湿漉漉的头发，滴到一半的水珠，飞悬在空中的浪花，流泻在沙滩上的倒影……维苏威火山在这里洒下了一大堆透明的火山灰。时间想从画面上溜走，却被我伸腿一绊，摔倒在阳光的投影里。于是，弥漫在太空中的“永恒”，悄悄地凝聚在这熟悉得留不下一点记忆却又永远不再重复出现的“一瞬间”里。
大海很大，很大……大海在我的瞳孔里。
The Sea in My Eyes
Jiang Nan
A summer beach.
The sound of the blue sea waves wafts in the air rhythmically — brightly for a moment and dimly for another. With a few strokes, the sea wind has caught my hair, and I pluck a strand and poke it between my lips — oh, the seawater has even salted my hair! Geologists argue that it is the salinity of streams and rivers that has salted the sea, while some poets lament that it is the sweat of fishermen and the tears of the poor that have done so. But I shall say — how shall I put it when oceanographers are engaged in a heated discussion about whether seawater is becoming saltier or less salty? I shall say — Oh, well, a sea is a sea after all, isn’t it?
A tidal wave comes crashing down upon me.
The entire world begins to sink and sink and sink … and the ice-cold water, shrink-wrapping me up, begins to draw heat from every pore of my body. The more I release the heat, the more the water absorbs it — maybe complying with the law of equivalent exchange is a human instinct! But, anyway, battle between humans and Mother Nature is a major theme in the earth symphony, while the fights among humans themselves are but an accompaniment.
The sea looks me in the eye with a supercilious expression…
The Sea: “What are you here for?”
Me: “To seek …”
The Sea: “Another one, huh? Humans marvel at my depth, but only in my shallowness do they seek refuge. Ha-ha!”
Me: “I’m here to look for chemical elements in your veins — uranium, deuterium, and tritium — to free them from the spell of solitude.”
The Sea: “What for?”
Me: “For it is inevitable! For it is unavoidable! And for I am a HUMAN.”
The Sea: “What if I flare up? You can be…”
Me: “Then, that will fulfill me.”
A long, deep drowning kiss! I can hardly breathe! Then, the sea frantically tugs me into his arms and starts a jive dance with me: One sweep after another, one sweep after another — endlessly … but suddenly, he releases his grab, and I am thrown, along a parabola onto the crest of a wave. Opening my eyes, I see, through countless triple prisms of broken waves smashed by sunlight, a reflection of life in a riot of colors ….
The view spirals up —
The setting sun, a hypertension sufferer!
Dark clouds, grievances, hanging under the firmament!
Seagulls, musical notes, expressing a sense of nostalgia!
The firmament, a combination of myriad sine curves!
….
A succession of blurred visions floats up from the bottom of the sea, to be quickly devoured by foam as each vision pops out of the water's surface — one after another, one after another … until none is left!
I stride onto the beach. Barefoot, step by step, I tramp on the sand, in an attempt to leave larger and deeper footprints … But the sea, unrolling his watery tongue, bubbling with foam, licks them all up. —Error marks? —Typewriter white-outs?
“Click.” A camera has captured the scene: a wry grin, wet hair, water drops hanging halfway down, splashes flying in the air, reflections rippling on the sand … and the large pile of transparent ash Vesuvius has dumped here. Time tried to creep away from the scene, but I thrust out one of my legs and tripped him into the exposure of the sunlight. Thus, quietly, I have frozen the “eternity” permeating the universe into the unrepeatable but elusively familiar moment.
The sea is vast, very vast … and this is the sea seen in my eyes.
注释 【1】
1. 原文标题《大海在我瞳孔里》所表达的意思就是“大海在我眼睛里”。英语里正好有一个对应说法叫：The Sea in My Eyes。原文作者之所以弃传统说法不用，而用“大海在我瞳孔里”，用“瞳孔”来代替“眼睛”与“大海”搭配，是为了追求新意，用新颖的搭配来塑造新颖的形象，以此描绘出一个大海浮现在眼球里的景象。但翻译时，我们并没有采用这个新颖的搭配把该标题译成The Sea in My Pupils，而是按照传统说法，把它译作The Sea in My Eyes。这是因为，英语里的pupil（瞳孔）并不能象eye（眼睛）那样给人以“看”的联想。在英语里，pupil给人更多的是解剖学上的联想。英译文艺作品时，我们往往既要注意词的字面意思（denotation）是否准确，也要注意它的联想意义（connotation）是否正确与丰富。
2. 把“缠住我的头发”译成has tangled my hair没有译作has caught my hair的联想意义更丰富。Has tangled my hair仅仅表达了“搞乱了我的头发”这层意思，而has caught my hair不但有“搞乱了我的头发”这层意思，还表达了从“没有搞乱”到“搞乱了”这个过程。Caught 的动词原形catch作“缠住”解有下列用法：
(1) Her expensive wedding gown caught on a nail. 她那件昂贵的婚纱勾在了钉子上。
(2) The nail caught her expensive wedding gown. 钉子勾住了她那件昂贵的婚纱。
(3) She caught her expensive wedding gown on a nail. 她（不小心）把那件昂贵的婚纱勾在了钉子上。
3. “一排大浪扑来，把我卷了进去”译作A tidal wave comes crashing down upon me。译文里的a tidal wave 是“巨浪”的意思。注意come crashing 的用法。英语里，go/come + doing something表示“去/来做某事”。比如：
(1) go /come shopping去/来买东西
(2) go /come hunting 去/来打猎
(3) go /come sailing 去/来航行
把“把我卷了进去”译作come crashing down upon me 比译成come rolling me in与下文的衔接更紧密。Come rolling me in只有“把我卷进浪里去”的意思，与下文里的“沉、沉、沉……”的衔接不那么直接；而come crashing down upon me则有“向我扑来，把我朝下压垮”的意思。正因如此，它更能直接导致下文所描写的“沉、沉、沉……”的结果。
4. “整个世界都在下沉、沉、沉……”译作The entire world begins to sink and sink and sink…。一般来说，译文要简练，但本译文在这里却一连用了两个and来连接sink， 这是因为，sink and sink and sink读起来要比sink, sink, and sink更带有连续不断性，因此其行文节奏也就更能与其所表达的意思相吻合。翻译时，在可能的情况下，行文的节奏要与意思的表达联系起来，也就是说，形式要能有效地反映内容。
5. “大海带着嘲讽的神情注视着我的眼睛”译作The sea looks me in the eye with a supercilious expression，其中的looks me in the eye来自look somebody in the eye这个惯用语，作“直视某人的眼睛”解。注意look后没有at，eye也可以是复数形式。注意这个惯用语跟in the eyes of somebody或者in somebody’s eyes的区别：
A. look somebody in the eye(s) 的意思是“盯着某人的眼睛看”。比如：
(1) She looked me in the eye. 她直愣愣地看着我的眼睛。
(2) The doorman looked him in the eye. 守门人直勾勾地盯着他的眼睛看。
B. in the eyes of somebody/something 或者 in somebody’s/something’s eyes 的意思是“在……眼里”。比如：
(1) In your mom’s eyes, you are always a child.在你母亲的眼里，你永远是个孩子。
(2) In the eyes of the society, this is immoral. 从社会的角度来看，这是不道德的。
6. 不能把“在我的爆发中”直译成in my explosion，因为explosion通常是指火药、锅炉之类的“爆炸”，而这里的“在我的爆发中”的意思是“（假如）我发怒了的话”，故译作What if I flare up。 Flare up有实意用法（literal use）与喻意用法（figurative use）两种。实意用法作“闪耀”、“爆发”解；喻意用法作“发怒”、“震怒”解。比如：
A. flare up（实意用法）:
(1) The firewood flared up at last. 柴火终于旺旺地烧了起来。
(2) The fire flared up as I put more logs onto it. 我添了一些柴火，火苗蹿了起来。
B. flare up（喻意用法）:
(1) He easily flares up. 他极易发火。
(2) When he was accused of stealing, he flared up.有人指控他偷窃，他大发雷霆。
7. 翻译时一定要吃准原文的意思。“我将找到我自己”不是“我会找到我自己”或者“我不会丢失”的意思，而是“这将使我实现我的价值”，所以不能译成I will find myself。这里，我们把它译作Then, that will fulfill me。Fulfill是“完成”或者“满足”的意思。比如：
(1) fulfill one’s duties 尽到某人的责任
(2) fulfill one’s task完成了某人的任务
(3) fulfill hopes 实现了愿望
8. “夕阳，一个高血压患者”是一个比喻说法（figurative speech）。比喻牵涉到本体（被比的事物），喻体（被比作的事物）以及比喻词（“像”、“如”、“若”等等）。比喻方法主要有：明喻（simile），暗喻（metaphor），借喻（trope）等等。采用比喻词的，就是明喻；把比喻词拿掉换成“是”或者“成”等的，是暗喻；既不用比喻词也省略本体仅留下喻体的，就是借喻。比如：
(1) 夕阳就象一个高血压患者！The setting sun is like a hypertension sufferer！（明喻
simile）
(2) 夕阳是一个高血压患者！The setting sun is a hypertension sufferer！（暗喻
metaphor）
(3) 一个面容红彤彤的高血压患者！A brightly red hypertension sufferer！（借喻trope，
借the hypertension sufferer喻“夕阳”）
原文是一个省略了比喻词“像”或者“如”的明喻。省略了比喻词后，语言的节奏就比较快。为保持这个节奏，译文也省略了比喻词: The setting sun, a hypertension sufferer! 下面的三句比喻也采用了类似方法来译。
来源：《英译中国当代美文选》 作者：徐英才
